Just...get away from me....................

Im sick of it...I don't wanna hear any more shit from you......just get lost........for whatever I do is wrong in your eyes......

I fail to achieve your stupid "missions" which includes buying cigarettes and forcing to give presents to someone who does not want it which in turn you bloody hell screamed in my bloody face........

You always choose me because of your laziness and the fact that you think I always do it willingly.....


no....

enough is enough.........


GET YOUR OTHER CHILDREN TO DO IT!!

IM NOT ALWAYS THE ONLY ONE YEA!?


WHY DON'T YOU FUCKING EXPLOIT THEM TOO..THEY ARE MORE RESPONSIBLE THAN ME AREN'T THEY?!!!!


YOU KEEP TELLING ME HOW MUCH YOU'VE DONE FOR US.....AND HOW WE RETURN THE FAVOUR........WELL LOOK AT WHAT WE HAVE DONE TOO......AND STOP LOOKING AT MY FAULTS........

STOP TAKING ME FOR GRANTED.......................


these were my feelings after that night where i failed to give Auntie Rosie some presents coz she refused profusely........

and i cried bitterly that night......what have i done to deserve your shouting in my face....calling me useless, questioning my motives for delivering the presents to her..........

I cld not care less about this dumb family I had anyway...even my siblings make use of me...only my mother truly cares and loves me.....

i downed my 3 bottles of vodka which i managed to sneak through the trolley and paid without my parents noticing what i bought.......

i was feeling giddy, heart rate increasing in a very alarming rate...my eyes were bloodshot......

i looked at myself...is this truly me? have i truly become what i was? the hatred and anger I feel.....towards him.....he, who tried to deny my existence of this world, but was saved by my mother.........


Having to do all your work you assign me which in turn i get no form of appreciation but scoldings on the methods i execute my duties.......

well just FUCK OFF!!!!!!

IF YOU THINK YOU ARE THAT FUCKING SMART AND CAPABLE DON'T CALL ON ME TO DO YOUR FUCKING DIRTY WORK...............


my patience towards you waned greatly......every conversation would escalate into a quarrel.....


and all because of this chinese new year preparations............i see no point in having a reunion dinner when everyone is just so freaking moody..


stop shouting at me...i am not your soldier and you are not my commander.....you don have any right to tell me what i can or cannot do...dun be naive and think i always help out willingly......and stop scolding my mother if you dun like the way she does things...

IF YOU WANT SOMETHING DONE RIGHT, GO DO IT YOURSELF....IT IS NEITHER OF OUR FAULTS IF WE DO IT WRONG....




But,



Why.....




why do i feel a certain guilt when i refuse to help him...is it because hes my father? am i too easily made use of?....issit because im too kind-hearted towards him? do i fear being called unfilial...or maybe its because im his so called favourite son?......

I just cant bring myself to say "no" towards him....but that does not mean i do not feel hatred towards him sometimes........

The anger that pulses through my body boils my blood and an aura of hatred surrounds me, everytime you shout....

my tolerance....has its limits......