Thrusday......bad day..............:(

Did not have a really nice day...Mrs Yap nagging in my face as usual.......humiliation just about describes about how i feel at that point of time...

then at home whole family quarrel some more..

mother was damn sick of housework she cracked...

sister got pissed coz mom asked her to get her clothes back and she cld not coz she got driving test following day....

father: dunno wat he quarrel about ,....just extra.....

bro: pissed off at dad's attitude of how bad a father he is...


And i am the only keeping quiet and just doing my social studies revision......................


Seriously....i cant get any sort of peace at home.......

I feel really bad for my mom...she does not want to do it..but she still does it...and the rest of the family just cant understand what she is really feeling and just claim they did not force her to do it.....

She feels she has to do it, coz she is our mother.....she has a sense of responsibility to this family...to us..........and yet sometimes it just gets too much for her to handle..........and dad is always making some fucked up snide comments and telling her to do it HIS WAY

Just the way I feel guilty when i refuse to help my dad. and at the end i still do it...even though unwillingly...

but maybe greg is right: If you don't wanna do it...just let go......"

And greg and my dad quarelled really badly...Greg was letting go of all his anger of what happened to him a few weeks ago...being called things like......(i dun wanna sae....) and criticizing my dad's family ethics, on the way he tells us, the way he puts us down, in terms of our character...calling us useless...scum of the earth.....nagging us about our grades.......telling us to study.....just to freaking please him.......

Certainly no one likes to be called all this bullshit...


There goes my refuge of home.........


after next friday's school...im just gonna go out and then straight to Darryl's sleepover...zzzz

Im not gonna listen to them quarrel again..that is their freaking problems....At the most, I do what mom tells me..help out when i deem necessary.......

I can only love my family...I cannot change them....





God, my refuge, my comfort, my shelter....


God Bless......